Is your quest for approval ruining your life?

Having just read Arabella Weir’s article about coming to terms with her body shape in the Telegraph I was struck by how like some of my clients she is.


On the outside confident, happy and content with her life, on the inside wanting to be something that she doesn’t feel she can attain, and therefore, always left feeling not good enough. For Arabella it was being told by her mother that every time she watched her eat it was ‘like having hot knives stuck into her eyes’, I am not sure if that was intended to guide her towards being the person her mother felt she ‘should’ be, but clearly that would create an emotional response more likely to result in low self esteem and potentially end up with a damaging eating disorder.

Arabella admits to having found a level of peace with herself the way she is, but to still hearing a voice in her  head sneering “do you really need to eat that?”

If you identify with this and find you have a sneering voice in your head a simple technique you can try is to change the voice in the following ways:

  • Speed the voice up so that it sounds like Pinky & Perky (younger readers may need to refer to YouTube!)
  • Find a volume control and turn it down
  • Respond to the voice by saying “Not today. I’m not getting into this today” and go on with what you were doing

For help with feelings of low self esteem and emotional eating issues do give me a call on 01954 715406 or Email

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